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Divorce – Advice For Parents

Ways to Support Your Kids Through Your Divorce

Parents who are divorcing have many responsibilities to attend to, such as ensuring that they and their children will have adequate shelter, food, and other necessities as well as stability, security, and an abundance of love and support. Since taking care of all of those responsibilities is a tall order, we have rounded up even more suggestions for parents who are wondering how they will be able to support their children through their divorce.

  • Keeping the emotional health of your kids as a top priority and letting that thought guide your actions and your words is not easy, but it is essential to the well-being of your kids. You and your soon to be former spouse are dissolving your romantic relationship and your household, but you will always be partners in raising your children. Strive to keep your interactions as low-conflict as possible, especially in front of the children. If you need to talk, seek out appropriate support from a trusted friend or counselor during a time that your children are not present and will not hear you expressing your thoughts and feelings about their other parent.

  • Do your best to settle your divorce case without a trial. The stress of litigation and the adversarial nature of it does spill over into a person’s home life. Many couples are able to work through the various pieces of their divorces with the help of their attorneys and arrive at settlement agreements that work well for the entire family. People who settle divorce cases before trial often pay less in legal costs, and they also report feeling like they received more of what they were hoping to get out of their divorce cases than people whose cases went to trial.

  • Refrain from saying negative things about your former spouse to your children or even within earshot of them. Speak directly with your former spouse and never ask the kids to relay messages to them for you. It is essential that you communicate a clear message to your kids with both your words and your actions that their other parent’s relationship with them is important and that you support them in having a relationship with them. If your kids ask you for help in arranging phone calls with their other parent, or doing other things to maintain the relationship, that is an opportunity to show your children that you do indeed support that relationship by doing what you can to make those phone calls, visits, and other things happen.

  • Create routines for the transitions between your homes. Children whose parents are divorced must navigate many changes every week. Helping them get through those transitions by making sure that they have everything that they need, empowering them to do that themselves as is age appropriate by using checklists and talking with them about how they feel about the transitions can all go a long way towards making them go well.

Divorce isn’t easy for anyone, but it can be extra tough for parents. You can get through your divorce in a way that honors your needs as well as those of your children. If you have questions about divorce in Wichita, call McDowell Chartered today, at (316) 633-4322 to arrange a consultation with Kansas Divorce Law Attorney Thomas McDowell.