There are over 2.4 million grandparents raising their grandchildren across the U.S., but all too often grandparents raising a second generation feel alone and struggle to cope with the demands of being a parent twice over. These grandparents are frequently forced to bear considerable financial, emotional, and physical hardships in order to care for their grandchildren. While any grandparent caregiver will no doubt state the costs are well worth the benefit of seeing their grandchild raised in a stable environment, their sacrifice is undeniable.
In Parts I and II of this three part series, we explored the types of grandparent caregivers, legal protections afforded grandparents without custody, guardianship, and adoption of grandchildren. We will now offer practical tips for grandparent caregivers and a list of resources to assist grandparents in Kansas.
Tips for Raising Grandchildren
When a parent is absent or unable to raise their children, grandparents are often the first to step in. While raising a grandchild comes with much reward, it also comes with many challenges. The following is a list of tips for those grandparents recently confronted with the task of raising their grandchildren.
- Acknowledge and accept your feelings—becoming your grandchild’s caregiver will trigger a wide range of emotions. You may feel stressed or worried, anger or resentment towards the grandchild’s parents, guilt for your child’s failures as a parent, and grief over the lessening of your independence and postponement of true retirement. It is important that your acknowledge each of these feelings and accept them as a natural part of the process.
- Seek out support—studies show that grandparents who cope best with the added stress of raising a grandchild seek out others for support. Find someone you can talk to about the situation. Look for support groups, which will be listed below. Don’t forget to take care of yourself throughout the process, as a healthy you means healthy grandchildren.
- Consult an attorney—all grandparents raising grandkids should consult with a knowledgeable family law attorney who can examine their individual circumstances and ensure their legal rights are protected. For grandparents without formal custody of their grandkids, it is vital to enlist the assistance of an attorney who can guide you towards some legal protection for you and your grandchild. Grandparents wishing to seek guardianship or adoption of their grandkids will require expert legal advice.
- Focus on creating a stable environment—the most important step towards helping your grandchildren adjust will be creating a stable environment with a predictable routine. Create special rituals and scheduled activities to make the child feel safe. Let your grandkids have input in their new home, but set clear house rules. Offer your time, attention, and love.
Resources for Kansas Grandparents Raising Grandkids
There are several programs and support groups that exist across Kansas and online to provide support for grandparents raising a second generation. The Relatives as Parents Program is a Kansas program designed to let grandparent caregivers know they are not alone. The Relatives as Parents Program, known as RAPP, offers support groups where grandparents and other relatives can share their experiences, understand the special needs of their grandchildren, and learn where to seek community resources. The group offers referrals to community resources such as: legal services, financial assistance, day care, medical assistance, and recreational activities for children.
More information on the RAPP program, including contact information to join, can be found by following this link. The RAPP program homepage also provides a list of website links for other grandparent resources, such as Generations United and Grandparents Resource Center.
McDowell Chartered: Helping Grandparents Raising the Next Generation
The Kansas Family Law Attorneys at the Wichita based firm of McDowell Chartered have assisted grandparents in a wide variety of legal matters since 1992. Using our decades of legal experience, we can assist in all child related issues, including guardianship and adoption. Call us today at (316) 269-0746 to see how one of our knowledgeable family law attorneys can help you!
