Strategies for Parents Focused on Reducing the Impact of Divorce on Kids [Part I]

While divorce is a challenging and stressful process under the best or circumstances, a marital dissolution that involves kids can be especially challenging.  Parents typically worry about the impact of the divorce on their kids as well as the future of their own parent-child relationship.  While a family law judge must consider a wide range of factors when deciding on an appropriate timeshare plan, there are certainly steps that parents can take to minimize the impact of a divorce on children.  These approaches to reducing the stress, confusion and hurt that may be unavoidable when kids experience the divorce of their parents also offer the benefit of being viewed favorably by Kansas family law judges.  While we have provided a list of individual suggestions, the fundamental theme is that parents who put their kids’ best interest and well-being above their own tend to make the marital dissolution process less upsetting and harmful to kids.

Try to Promote Stability: The concept of not living with both parents is a difficult one for most kids so it can be easier on kids if there is less change to which they must adapt.  While sometimes it is unavoidable that a parent whom children will live with the majority of the time might need to relocate, kids benefit substantially from being provided the opportunity to remain in the family home and their current school.  The benefits associated with this type of stability include avoiding the sense of displacement that comes from moving out of the family home.  Kids also continue to have access to the support structure provided by existing teachers, friends and local extended family.  While the prospect of spending less time with one or both parents is difficult for kids, the idea of dealing with fundamental changes in every aspect of a child’s life may add to this stress and sense of loss.

Do Not Make Kids the Messenger: While it generally is never appropriate to “shoot the messenger,” this is never truer than when parents use kids to send messages on adult issues.  Communication between parents can be difficult during a divorce, kids may feel pressure to take sides when they are used to deliver messages on issues like child support, alimony and other issues that do not directly concern the kids.  A parent can significantly reduce the stress felt by a child by finding constructive ways to communicate on parenting and financial issues.

Wichita, KS family law attorney Thomas C. McDowell has been practicing law for over two decades and uses this experience to guide his clients past the difficult emotions that can derail constructive negotiations on child custody, parenting time and visitation issues.  When a negotiated solution is not realistic, Mr. McDowell is prepared to zealously pursue the best resolution for his clients and their children.  We invite you to schedule an initial consultation so that we can evaluate your situation so call us today at (316) 269-0746.