Strategies for Parents Focused on Reducing the Impact of Divorce on Kids [Part II]

This is the second installment in our two-part article discussing ways that parents can make the divorce process less stressful and potentially harmful for their kids.  Generally, the more amicable and cooperative parents can be despite the hard feelings that often accompany divorce the better the situation is for their kids.  We invite your review both parts of this two-part blog post.

Support the Other Parent’s Relationship with Your Kids: While we recognize that this suggestion can be a challenge when parents have an acrimonious relationship, the negative consequences of discouraging your children’s relationship with the other parent can have devastating long-term effects.  Some studies show that kids place the blame for such animosity on their own conduct which results in poor self-esteem and academic problems.  Kids also may feel that they are forced to choose the parent they will side with rather than feeling confident that they have the unqualified love and support of both parents.

Avoiding Disparaging Remarks about the Other Parent: While the other parent may legitimately be a jerk, this opinion should not be expressed or shared with your children.  Negative comments about the other parent can alienate the relationship of the child and other parent which can be harmful to your kids and may be used against you in a child custody dispute.

Include the Other Parent in Functions: If the child has school awards ceremonies or similar events, the parent with whom the child lives can make things easier for the kids by ensuring that the other parent is aware of the event and by encouraging the parent to attend.  While this may be an unpleasant prospect if you do not have a positive relationship with the other parent, your child will generally benefit from having both parents present for important events and benchmarks in your kids’ lives.

Develop Open Communication with the Other Parent: Many parents who are divorced have very workable co-parenting relationships that may be amicable or even friendly.  If parents are to develop this type of constructive relationship and open communication, they increase the probability that kids adapt to the divorce with a minimum of adverse effects.  A range of studies has shown that the consequences that may be experienced by kids during a divorce are mitigated when parents have an amicable constructive co-parenting relationship.

Provide Consistent Routines: Although it is expected that each parent may have their own parenting style and rules, kids can adapt easier to moving back and forth if the rules are reasonably consistent both between and within each home.

Wichita family law attorney Thomas C. McDowell has been practicing law for over two decades and uses this experience to guide his clients past the difficult emotions that can derail constructive negotiations on child custody, parenting time and visitation issues.  When a negotiated solution is not realistic, Mr. McDowell is prepared to zealously pursue the best resolution for his clients and their children.  We invite you to schedule an initial consultation so that we can evaluate your situation so call us today at (316) 269-0746.